DOG WALKER BECOMES MILLIONAIRE BY CHARGING PEOPLE FOR HUMOROUS QUESTION

By Resident Canine Expert Abraham Naked Freelance horse tester Seamus O’Ramjet has recently made his first million pounds by walking a Great Dane dog around the various parks and woodland areas near his home in Yeovil. His expertise is in horses, but even he admits that this wasn’t bringing in enough to support his nowContinue reading “DOG WALKER BECOMES MILLIONAIRE BY CHARGING PEOPLE FOR HUMOROUS QUESTION”

FORMER EMPLOYEE TELLS ALL ABOUT HIS SCAM PLAN THAT WON HIM EMPLOYMENT AWARD EVERY MONTH

By Employment Correspondent Papa Heihachi A 36-year old former call centre employee from Burstwick in Hull concocted a mostly foolproof plan that had never failed him, until it kind of did, and he’s now prepared to share his secret to winning untold amounts of cases of wines and cheeses, at his previous workplace GlaxenBorgBerg. Kind-heartedContinue reading “FORMER EMPLOYEE TELLS ALL ABOUT HIS SCAM PLAN THAT WON HIM EMPLOYMENT AWARD EVERY MONTH”

CLASSIC 1987 LOVE SONG TO BE BANNED DUE TO MODERN INTERPRETATION OF LYRICS

By Music Correspondent Kenny Afterburner People across the world could soon be breaking the law if they play – or even own – the 1987 song Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen, who incidentally has been working overtime in the last 20 odd years telling people that he isn’t one of the kids from South Park.Continue reading “CLASSIC 1987 LOVE SONG TO BE BANNED DUE TO MODERN INTERPRETATION OF LYRICS”

GRAVE DIGGER HATCHES PLAN OF FACIAL HAIR PRESERVATION IN LIGHT OF RECENT CONFUSION OVER REMAINS

By Resident Men’s Grooming Specialist Mark Wrestlemania The job of a mortician is not without its difficulties, it comes with occupational hazards like most jobs. For thousands of years, it has been thought that once the deceased had been buried, cremated or sent out to sea if dealing with Vikings, the mortician can put theirContinue reading “GRAVE DIGGER HATCHES PLAN OF FACIAL HAIR PRESERVATION IN LIGHT OF RECENT CONFUSION OVER REMAINS”

ADMIN ERROR LEADS TO AMERICAN ROCK BAND PORTRAYING BUNCH OF WOMEN IN NEW MOVIE

By Music Correspondent Stavros Harrington-Smythe The new superhero film from the DC Universe, Birds of Prey, has recently been released to quite favourable reviews, though it isn’t certain if that’s down to an error by a young production assistant. The mistake was discovered when executives were watching the finished film, and it was too lateContinue reading “ADMIN ERROR LEADS TO AMERICAN ROCK BAND PORTRAYING BUNCH OF WOMEN IN NEW MOVIE”

RETAIL MANAGER’S POLICY SET TO CONTINUE, FLYING IN THE FACE OF CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

By Resident Retail Expert Zebedee Boughtazoo One of the main reasons for success in the customer service sector is word of mouth. If you have a business that goes the extra mile for customers, the theory is that those customers will then tell their friends about your company, and the great level of service youContinue reading “RETAIL MANAGER’S POLICY SET TO CONTINUE, FLYING IN THE FACE OF CONVENTIONAL WISDOM”

FORWARD-THINKING HEADTEACHER GRAND SCHEME TO MODERNISE LESSONS BY REPLICATING ONLINE VIDEOS

By Education Correspondent Bill Swededfilm The headmaster at St. Heresjohnny Primary School in Hull, Ian Tricycle, has become aware of the increasing amount of educational videos on the internet, and he sees the threat that it could pose for not just his job, but for all teachers across the land. He reasons that kids wouldContinue reading “FORWARD-THINKING HEADTEACHER GRAND SCHEME TO MODERNISE LESSONS BY REPLICATING ONLINE VIDEOS”

FECKLESS FATHER UNEXPECTEDLY WINS AWARD WHICH MAY JEOPARDISE ONGOING CUSTODY BATTLE

By Resident Relationship Councillor Harriet Crockof Estranged couples, especially when there’s children involved, can be fraught with a multitude of difficult situations. When a break up between parents occurs, the child is often times torn between loyalties one way or the other. Father of three Gaz Propane is someone who has to deal with theContinue reading “FECKLESS FATHER UNEXPECTEDLY WINS AWARD WHICH MAY JEOPARDISE ONGOING CUSTODY BATTLE”

NEW LAW TO BE IMPLEMENTED, BUT FOOD PLACE OWNERS ANGRY AT AMOUNT OF GREY AREAS

By Resident Food Critic Lexington Canary A list of new laws to be put into place by the UK government have largely been met with either bored resignment or slight irritation from some hard hitting newspaper columnists. But one law in particular has created quite a stir in certain parts of social media, and hasContinue reading “NEW LAW TO BE IMPLEMENTED, BUT FOOD PLACE OWNERS ANGRY AT AMOUNT OF GREY AREAS”

OUTSPOKEN OCEANOGRAPHER CAUSES CONCERN OVER LARGE FISH THEORY AND ANTICIPATED EXPERIMENT

By Resident Marine Biologist Gerry Joeninety The act of artificially altering the evolution of a species is usually regarded as something that no one should ever consider, as the ramifications within that creature’s habitat and natural way of doing things could prove catastrophic, causing untold damage to the infrastructure of not only the species itself,Continue reading “OUTSPOKEN OCEANOGRAPHER CAUSES CONCERN OVER LARGE FISH THEORY AND ANTICIPATED EXPERIMENT”