TEARFUL DAD NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO LETTING SON DOWN ON UPCOMING 16TH BIRTHDAY

By Crime Correspondent Bill Beatstreet The ongoing lock down and related restrictions has affected everyone in the UK, and indeed around the world, with many people who have ‘non-essential’ jobs worrying if they’d have a job by the end of this ordeal. The potential state of the economy will be very much up in theContinue reading “TEARFUL DAD NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO LETTING SON DOWN ON UPCOMING 16TH BIRTHDAY”

NEW YOUTUBE CHANNEL DECLARED GREAT SUCCESS BY KIDS MISSING OUT ON SCHOOL LIFE

By Online Education Correspondent Leroy Catvideo Prolific YouTubers Willy and Jilly Circle have created a separate channel that caters for kids all around the world to help reduce boredom during these times of lock down, and has amassed over 100,000 subscribers since they launched it just over a week ago. This new channel has overtakenContinue reading “NEW YOUTUBE CHANNEL DECLARED GREAT SUCCESS BY KIDS MISSING OUT ON SCHOOL LIFE”

POLITICIANS OF ALL COLOURS DEEM CHANGES TO BOARD GAME RULES NECESSARY DURING THIS TIME OF ISOLATION

By Resident Mouse Trap Expert John “Jigsaw” Kramer In times gone by, playing Monopoly with a bunch of children at Christmas time used to be an arduous task, as there’d be many random rule changes along the way because kids never want to lose. After a few hours of arguing, the board is finally putContinue reading “POLITICIANS OF ALL COLOURS DEEM CHANGES TO BOARD GAME RULES NECESSARY DURING THIS TIME OF ISOLATION”

FEARS GROW AS CERTAIN MEMBERS OF SOCIETY WILLING TO PURPOSEFULLY FLOUT SELF ISOLATION ADVICE

By Military Correspondent Ralph Ermey A worrying amount of groups have recently been springing up on social media platforms aimed at women who are attracted to men in uniforms. Though this is nothing new, as firemen and doctors have always been popular amongst ladies, the growing concern is there’s going to be a massive disturbanceContinue reading “FEARS GROW AS CERTAIN MEMBERS OF SOCIETY WILLING TO PURPOSEFULLY FLOUT SELF ISOLATION ADVICE”

UK TV CHANNEL TO DRASTICALLY CHANGE SCHEDULES IN ORDER TO HELP VIEWERS FEEL BETTER ABOUT SELVES

By Apocalypse Now Correspondent Marley Sheen As daily news of the coronavirus pandemic is now in full swing, this has brought about a lot of fear throughout the world, especially with lock downs being put in place in many countries. The vast majority of the world are now indoors glued to the TV and internetContinue reading “UK TV CHANNEL TO DRASTICALLY CHANGE SCHEDULES IN ORDER TO HELP VIEWERS FEEL BETTER ABOUT SELVES”

STOCKPILING ODD ITEMS ENABLES FORWARD-THINKING MAN HELP THOSE WISHING TO CONTINUE ILLICIT ACTIVITIES

By Resident Relationship Breakdown Expert Victor Warlike One of the big issues in this current crisis has been the sheer amount of people stockpiling items from shops, notably toilet roll, hand gel, tinned goods etc. But one man has been buying up other specific items, based on lock down restrictions from other countries, which heContinue reading “STOCKPILING ODD ITEMS ENABLES FORWARD-THINKING MAN HELP THOSE WISHING TO CONTINUE ILLICIT ACTIVITIES”

FASHION RETAILER TO MOVE WITH CURRENT TIMES AND START ONLINE STREAMING SERVICE

By Resident Internet Guru Alan Wrongsize With recent news in the UK that non-essential shops are to close, one retailer has decided to join the crowded market of video streaming services as a way to keep their business afloat. With tougher proposals now in place, and everyone now kept indoors except for essential things likeContinue reading “FASHION RETAILER TO MOVE WITH CURRENT TIMES AND START ONLINE STREAMING SERVICE”

SIGHTINGS IN SMALL RESORT OF ALLEGED E.T. WALKING AROUND CAUSES FEAR SIMILAR TO THAILAND MONKEY MELEE

By Resident Ufologist Lenny Gort Like most places around the world, the seaside resort of Shanklin on the Isle of Wight has become almost deserted, with locals locking themselves in isolation on government advice because of the pandemic. There’s been recent news of a mass monkey brawl in Thailand and some deer pottering about inContinue reading “SIGHTINGS IN SMALL RESORT OF ALLEGED E.T. WALKING AROUND CAUSES FEAR SIMILAR TO THAILAND MONKEY MELEE”

HENCHMEN RECRUITMENT POLICY TO BE TIGHTENED AFTER YET ANOTHER MISUNDERSTANDING WITHIN GANG

By Resident Gangland Expert Vincent “Secateurs” Iolent Yet another mishap caused by underlings in local Walthamstow gang Tha Warmastahz, has led boss Ray “Big Rake” Fairbrass to reassess the process of gang member acquisition. He understands that he has to be seen as the most sensible and alpha of the group, and that means there’dContinue reading “HENCHMEN RECRUITMENT POLICY TO BE TIGHTENED AFTER YET ANOTHER MISUNDERSTANDING WITHIN GANG”

YOUNG ADULT NOVEL SERIES SIMILAR TO TWILIGHT TO BECOME FILM FRANCHISE SIMILAR TO TWILIGHT

By Resident Literary Expert Cara Llama The deal has recently been sealed for the long running YA novel series Hot Yeti to become a lucrative film franchise. The author of the series, Amanda Whiplash, is set to become a billionaire overnight, and she’s insisted that she is to direct each one, to protect her “babies”.Continue reading “YOUNG ADULT NOVEL SERIES SIMILAR TO TWILIGHT TO BECOME FILM FRANCHISE SIMILAR TO TWILIGHT”