SIGHTINGS IN SMALL RESORT OF ALLEGED E.T. WALKING AROUND CAUSES FEAR SIMILAR TO THAILAND MONKEY MELEE

By Resident Ufologist Lenny Gort Like most places around the world, the seaside resort of Shanklin on the Isle of Wight has become almost deserted, with locals locking themselves in isolation on government advice because of the pandemic. There’s been recent news of a mass monkey brawl in Thailand and some deer pottering about inContinue reading “SIGHTINGS IN SMALL RESORT OF ALLEGED E.T. WALKING AROUND CAUSES FEAR SIMILAR TO THAILAND MONKEY MELEE”

HENCHMEN RECRUITMENT POLICY TO BE TIGHTENED AFTER YET ANOTHER MISUNDERSTANDING WITHIN GANG

By Resident Gangland Expert Vincent “Secateurs” Iolent Yet another mishap caused by underlings in local Walthamstow gang Tha Warmastahz, has led boss Ray “Big Rake” Fairbrass to reassess the process of gang member acquisition. He understands that he has to be seen as the most sensible and alpha of the group, and that means there’dContinue reading “HENCHMEN RECRUITMENT POLICY TO BE TIGHTENED AFTER YET ANOTHER MISUNDERSTANDING WITHIN GANG”

YOUNG ADULT NOVEL SERIES SIMILAR TO TWILIGHT TO BECOME FILM FRANCHISE SIMILAR TO TWILIGHT

By Resident Literary Expert Cara Llama The deal has recently been sealed for the long running YA novel series Hot Yeti to become a lucrative film franchise. The author of the series, Amanda Whiplash, is set to become a billionaire overnight, and she’s insisted that she is to direct each one, to protect her “babies”.Continue reading “YOUNG ADULT NOVEL SERIES SIMILAR TO TWILIGHT TO BECOME FILM FRANCHISE SIMILAR TO TWILIGHT”

PALAEONTOLOGISTS MAKE HUGE DISCOVERY, HISTORY OF VIDEO GAMES REWRITTEN AS A RESULT

By Resident Tomb Raiding Expert Indiana Columbo A team working on a routine excavation on a remote island in Costa Rica has unearthed something even more exciting than a previously undiscovered dinosaur. The eminent palaeontologist Dr Emmet Huey was leading his team through various caves, searching for the rare skeleton of a dinosaur frog. HeContinue reading “PALAEONTOLOGISTS MAKE HUGE DISCOVERY, HISTORY OF VIDEO GAMES REWRITTEN AS A RESULT”

YET ANOTHER COMIC-BASED TV SERIES ON WAY WITH DC COMICS ANNOUNCEMENT OF WACKY SITCOM

By Resident TV Namesake Experts Truce Train and Mark Trent Recent news of yet another TV show involving characters from the DC universe has recently been confirmed, and it’s quite an unexpected change of tone for the brand. A lot of the earlier films were seen as being dark and gloomy, though later ones hadContinue reading “YET ANOTHER COMIC-BASED TV SERIES ON WAY WITH DC COMICS ANNOUNCEMENT OF WACKY SITCOM”

FAMOUS SINGER-SONGWRITER REVEALS TRUE SURNAME, EXPLAINS REASON FOR NOT INITIALLY FOLLOWING FAMILY TRADITION

By Resident Horseplay Expert Fanny Chortle She’s sold untold millions in record sales and has amassed far too much money for one person, but singer Adele has never revealed her true family lineage in public, as she felt she wanted to go her own way and not the expected direction that her actual surname wouldContinue reading “FAMOUS SINGER-SONGWRITER REVEALS TRUE SURNAME, EXPLAINS REASON FOR NOT INITIALLY FOLLOWING FAMILY TRADITION”

WOMAN TO MAKE INCENDIARY DOCUMENTARY ABOUT FORMER FRIEND DUE TO FALL OUT OVER TROUSERS IN SALE

By Fashion Correspondent Jean Paul Georgeringo A 52-year old woman has been left furious due to an incident at a local jumble sale in the scouts hut, in Pallethill, Penrith, where a pair of trousers she had her eye on was later bought by her friend, despite being told they would be kept to oneContinue reading “WOMAN TO MAKE INCENDIARY DOCUMENTARY ABOUT FORMER FRIEND DUE TO FALL OUT OVER TROUSERS IN SALE”

DOWN-ON-LUCK MAN RESIGNED TO SELLING PRIZED POSSESSIONS ONLINE TO PAY DEBTS AMIDST BOOKIES FEAR

By Resident Auctioneering Expert Davey “Orange” Foundation We all like a bargain, whether it’s browsing in charity shops or online auctions, where they don’t really understand what they’ve got, or it’s obvious that a retailer has overstocked something and just wants to cut their losses. Some items don’t hold their worth for a multitude ofContinue reading “DOWN-ON-LUCK MAN RESIGNED TO SELLING PRIZED POSSESSIONS ONLINE TO PAY DEBTS AMIDST BOOKIES FEAR”

SMALL TIME BUTCHER USES POPULAR GAME ONLINE TO ADVERTISE STRUGGLING BUSINESS

By Video Game Correspondent Raymond Stationfour A local butcher from Nether Wallop in Hampshire has recently come up with a novel idea to drum up publicity for his ailing business. 61-year old Harry Jetpac has seen his shop, Harry’z Meatz And Thingz, slowly lose trade to the much more modern store that’s recently opened nearbyContinue reading “SMALL TIME BUTCHER USES POPULAR GAME ONLINE TO ADVERTISE STRUGGLING BUSINESS”

GOVERNMENT LACKEY CONFIDENT OF PLAN TO EASE FEARS OF LOW EARNERS IN CURRENT CLIMATE

By Resident Futurist Syd Bitter Citizens of the UK in this difficult time are all too aware of what other countries are doing in the wake of the Coronavirus, with some of them shutting down, closing everything but hospitals, chemists and shops to buy toilet paper from. One idea that has been proposed, the prospectContinue reading “GOVERNMENT LACKEY CONFIDENT OF PLAN TO EASE FEARS OF LOW EARNERS IN CURRENT CLIMATE”