STUDENT FILM MAKER TO SEEK LEGAL ADVICE IF GOVERNMENT CONTINUE TO IGNORE HIS REQUEST FOR POTENTIAL LOST EARNINGS

By Resident Amateur Videographer Martinez Scorsesio The world’s economy is being shook to its very foundations because of the lock downs imposed in many countries, and by extension there’s countless millions of workers at all levels in pretty much every sector worrying about their livelihoods. The timing of the lock downs have also played aContinue reading “STUDENT FILM MAKER TO SEEK LEGAL ADVICE IF GOVERNMENT CONTINUE TO IGNORE HIS REQUEST FOR POTENTIAL LOST EARNINGS”

FOOD AND DRINK SHORTAGES IN SHOPS LINKED WITH UPTURN IN OTHER UNEXPECTED SALES

By Ersatz Hairpiece Correspondent Carl Spectacles There’s been issues with the stock level of food, drink and toiletries even before the lock downs in the UK and beyond came into effect. Things improved a little once limits on certain items were put in place, and generally everyone was able to more or less get whatContinue reading “FOOD AND DRINK SHORTAGES IN SHOPS LINKED WITH UPTURN IN OTHER UNEXPECTED SALES”

DLC PATCH FOR GRAND THEFT AUTO V CREATED TO REFLECT CURRENT REAL WORLD SITUATION

By Resident Video Games Expert William Miner With many countries still in full lock down, many people are finding it increasingly difficult to keep boredom away. Hardcore gamers everywhere have been unaffected, though, and are actually wanting this period to continue, as many of them are getting paid by the government for not going intoContinue reading “DLC PATCH FOR GRAND THEFT AUTO V CREATED TO REFLECT CURRENT REAL WORLD SITUATION”

CHANGES TO SOAP OPERA PRODUCTIONS PROVE DIVISIVE BUT NECESSARY TO KEEP UP WITH REGULARITY

By Resident Repetitive Television Expert Barbara Scratchings The world of TV and film production has ground to a virtual standstill – so long as you don’t count the news and cheaply produced daytime magazine shows – because of the real world events of the virus thing, and not many types of programming have been affectedContinue reading “CHANGES TO SOAP OPERA PRODUCTIONS PROVE DIVISIVE BUT NECESSARY TO KEEP UP WITH REGULARITY”

RESOURCEFUL TRADESMAN HELPS NEIGHBOURS UNABLE TO LEAVE HOUSE, THOUGH GESTURE NOT ALWAYS WELCOMED

By Resident Charity Expert Cliff Lemmings The current situation in the UK has brought out the best from most of the citizens all over the UK, with people helping their fellow man by treating them in hospital, kindly instructing them to head indoors when on non-essential errands, and showing them where the milk is inContinue reading “RESOURCEFUL TRADESMAN HELPS NEIGHBOURS UNABLE TO LEAVE HOUSE, THOUGH GESTURE NOT ALWAYS WELCOMED”

EDUCATION OFFICIALS CONCERN OVER CHILD LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT DURING CURRENT TIMES

By Resident Linguistics Expert Richard Shnary Education organisations such as Kidz Talkz Goodz (KTG) and Learning Children Words Better (LCWB) have raised their fears over the development of the language that kids are now being taught as a result of the lock down. Parents in the UK, as well as across the whole world, haveContinue reading “EDUCATION OFFICIALS CONCERN OVER CHILD LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT DURING CURRENT TIMES”

EMPLOYEES AT PIZZA PLACE FORCED TO WORK FROM HOME DESPITE CONCERNS RAISED

By Resident Takeaway Expert Ronald Shake The employees at Pizza Resistance in Garsington, Oxfordshire remained open throughout the lock down in the UK for deliveries only. It was only when one of the staff members started coughing a bit a few days ago when they made the decision yesterday that everyone should self-isolate as aContinue reading “EMPLOYEES AT PIZZA PLACE FORCED TO WORK FROM HOME DESPITE CONCERNS RAISED”

PORTLY TAXI DRIVER CREATES UNIRONIC YOUTUBE CHANNEL TO HELP BODYBUILDERS MAINTAIN GAINS

By Resident Fitness Guru Arnold Gamma With the closure of most businesses and leisure centres due to the lock down in the UK and many other countries, organisers of this year’s Bodybuilding competitions fear having contestants looking like regular people, and not the ripped Adonises that usually take part. One hopeful contender, who has admittedContinue reading “PORTLY TAXI DRIVER CREATES UNIRONIC YOUTUBE CHANNEL TO HELP BODYBUILDERS MAINTAIN GAINS”

OXFORD MAN’S PLAN TO STUD PET DOG PROVES VERY PROFITABLE, THOUGH VENTURE FROWNED UPON BY SOME

By Business Correspondent Rex Bone If you live in the village of Cumnor in Oxford, and you start to see dozens of St Bernard dogs roaming around the streets through your house windows while isolating, you’re advised not to panic. Local man Xavier Wheels has came up with a dubious plan for his male StContinue reading “OXFORD MAN’S PLAN TO STUD PET DOG PROVES VERY PROFITABLE, THOUGH VENTURE FROWNED UPON BY SOME”

SELF-ISOLATION RULES, WARNINGS AND GET WELL MESSAGE WRITTEN IN LETTER FROM UNEXPECTED SOURCE

By Resident Unhinged William Shatner Fan Sebastian Stab A mysterious letter has recently turned up at an Illinois psychiatrist’s house, crudely packaged within a large brown envelope. The psychiatrist, Dr Samuel Loomis, only needed a few seconds to realise who it was from, as he recognised the child-like writing on the parcel. He opened itContinue reading “SELF-ISOLATION RULES, WARNINGS AND GET WELL MESSAGE WRITTEN IN LETTER FROM UNEXPECTED SOURCE”