GOVERNMENT LACKEY CONFIDENT OF PLAN TO EASE FEARS OF LOW EARNERS IN CURRENT CLIMATE

By Resident Futurist Syd Bitter Citizens of the UK in this difficult time are all too aware of what other countries are doing in the wake of the Coronavirus, with some of them shutting down, closing everything but hospitals, chemists and shops to buy toilet paper from. One idea that has been proposed, the prospectContinue reading “GOVERNMENT LACKEY CONFIDENT OF PLAN TO EASE FEARS OF LOW EARNERS IN CURRENT CLIMATE”

SCHOOL REUNION PROVES DISAPPOINTING FOR SMALL GROUP BECAUSE OF CHANGES WITH FORMER OUTCAST

By Resident Nostalgic Dissatisfaction Expert Roland Cress They say that your school days are the best days of your life. In reality though, only certain sections of society actually agree with this. Nerds, kids with weight problems, the weird ones, quiet ones, small ones… the list goes on, are all on record disputing this so-calledContinue reading “SCHOOL REUNION PROVES DISAPPOINTING FOR SMALL GROUP BECAUSE OF CHANGES WITH FORMER OUTCAST”

HEALTH AND SAFETY EXPERTS DESPAIR AS CONTROVERSIAL NEW FORMAT TO BE INTRODUCED IN BOXING

By Boxing Correspondent Evander Holymackerel One of the main problems with modern boxing, according to those who ply their trade in the sport in any capacity, is the amount of sanctioning bodies involved creating confusion and frustration at all times, what with their own politics, agendas, and the many belts available in the numerous weightContinue reading “HEALTH AND SAFETY EXPERTS DESPAIR AS CONTROVERSIAL NEW FORMAT TO BE INTRODUCED IN BOXING”

RESEARCH THEORY SHOWS THAT FORMER TV CHARACTER IS ACTUALLY A METAL BAND, REWRITES OLD INTERNET MYTH

By Internet Miscellany Correspondent Kevin Rotor At the turn of the 21st century, the internet was a very different place than it is today. There was no social media, cat videos didn’t make up 85% of YouTube as YouTube wasn’t around yet, and all information ever hadn’t been uploaded like it has nowadays. This meantContinue reading “RESEARCH THEORY SHOWS THAT FORMER TV CHARACTER IS ACTUALLY A METAL BAND, REWRITES OLD INTERNET MYTH”

MANAGER OF STATIONERY COPYING SOLUTIONS COMPANY SEIZES OPPORTUNITY IN CURRENT GAP IN MARKET

By Resident Household Essentials Expert Gordon Conscious The recent effect of panic buying certain items by citizens all over the world has sent the companies who make them into overdrive, with many of them simply unable to keep up with the demand. It has been suggested that hand gel and bread are becoming increasingly rare,Continue reading “MANAGER OF STATIONERY COPYING SOLUTIONS COMPANY SEIZES OPPORTUNITY IN CURRENT GAP IN MARKET”

HEARTLESS ESTATE AGENTS EVICT SINGLE PARENT FAMILY, BLAMED FOR SLOW SALE OF PROPERTY

By Resident Removals Expert Pat Hosiery The world of the paranormal has been rocked with the recent news of how estate agents have forcibly removed a family of ghosts from one of their properties. One of the managers of Came, Saw & Censored, Burt Censored, has defended his company’s decision as the house viewings wereContinue reading “HEARTLESS ESTATE AGENTS EVICT SINGLE PARENT FAMILY, BLAMED FOR SLOW SALE OF PROPERTY”

DISILLUSIONED CHILD MAKES UP OWN IMPRACTICAL MARTIAL ART AFTER QUITTING ESTABLISHED ONE

By Resident Kung Fu Master Cedric Hwoarang The art of fighting was established millions of years ago, probably starting when man first walked the earth, with cave paintings depicting scraps between cavemen, usually with one of them trying to impress their girlfriend. Over time, various fighting disciplines were established through the years, which became knownContinue reading “DISILLUSIONED CHILD MAKES UP OWN IMPRACTICAL MARTIAL ART AFTER QUITTING ESTABLISHED ONE”

SUNTANNED MILLIONAIRE PROVES COMMON CLICHE WRONG, EXPLAINS UNCONVENTIONAL REASONING

By Resident Escapologist Expert Dewey Mc Swan One of the most popular truisms in life is that you can’t run away from your problems, as they’ll still be there, and it doesn’t solve anything. It’s estimated that about 98% of the world’s population has tried to run away from tricky situations at least once, butContinue reading “SUNTANNED MILLIONAIRE PROVES COMMON CLICHE WRONG, EXPLAINS UNCONVENTIONAL REASONING”

FORTHRIGHT COUNCIL EMPLOYEE DEFIES SUPERIORS, MOVES FORWARD WITH REFUSE SOLUTION AND E.T. HYPOTHESIS

By Rubbish Correspondent Frank Discourse If you watch any documentary about Earth, or have seen any sci fi film where aliens come to visit our planet and air their views on what they see, one thing that is always made certain – that humankind are killing the planet, we don’t recycle properly and it’s onlyContinue reading “FORTHRIGHT COUNCIL EMPLOYEE DEFIES SUPERIORS, MOVES FORWARD WITH REFUSE SOLUTION AND E.T. HYPOTHESIS”

WRESTLING TITLE WINNER STRIPPED OF BELT DUE TO INTERFERENCE FROM THE OTHER SIDE

By Supernatural Grappling Correspondent Sid “Crazed” Integrity The recent wrestling title fight that took place at a community centre in Kirkburton, Huddersfield between Ronald “Mean Bean” Horsefist and Vinny “E-I-E-I” O’ Farm, has been controversially declared a no-contest. The match was won by Mr O’ Farm via his finishing move The Cattle Clutch, a variantContinue reading “WRESTLING TITLE WINNER STRIPPED OF BELT DUE TO INTERFERENCE FROM THE OTHER SIDE”