By Resident Amateur Videographer Martinez Scorsesio

The world’s economy is being shook to its very foundations because of the lock downs imposed in many countries, and by extension there’s countless millions of workers at all levels in pretty much every sector worrying about their livelihoods. The timing of the lock downs have also played a part in the education systems in many countries, with reports of the courses being disrupted and even exams cancelled. A student from St. Mishima University in Kettering, Jason Quotingdog, saw his film making course end abruptly, and was told he was to get a grade lower than he wanted, using an average on the grades he got for his other projects. He planned to make a short film based on a script he written for his final project, which was itself based on a feature length script he wrote earlier on in the year. He had every intention of sending this feature length script to various big production companies with a view to star and direct in himself – and get well paid for it – but his dreams have been shattered due to the virus outbreak. Now, Mr Quotingdog has been waiting a few weeks now after writing to the government for compensation, and is getting increasingly frustrated with getting no response. I interviewed Mr Quotingdog in his makeshift office which is really his bedroom, to find out his next steps.

TDJJ: “After reading your story, Mr Quotingdog, I’ve struggled to work out how you can justify the money you’re asking for. You mentioned that you were in “advanced talks” with a few companies about your script, but that’s all it was. Was there any contracts signed or anything?”

JQ: “No, it was just talking. But they were being sold on the premise of my script. It had so much potential.”

TDJJ: “Can you explain your story idea?”

JQ: “Okay, the script is for the third film in the Under Siege series. Full title: Under Siege 3: Knife To See You. I play a younger Steven Seagal, who played Casey Jones in the earlier films. It’s a prequel and a sequel as I planned to get Mr Seagal back. I’ve written in younger versions of Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey as well. I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s about me saving lots of people from evil in one of those massive cargo helicopters. I wrote in Scarlett Johansson and Margot Robbie as my love interests. It’s going to be an 18.”

TDJJ: “What parts of this were you going to make for your university project as a short film?”

JQ: “Well, it was going to be more of an extended trailer for Under Siege 3. I obviously don’t have the budget I expected for the feature length version, so gone were CGI shots of massive cargo helicopters fighting, and I wouldn’t have been able to get hold of glamorous women actors. But I’m not choosy to be honest. There was to be more compromises, but the general idea of me saving people from evil would’ve still been the main gist of the film.”

TDJJ: “What was the proposed budget for Under Siege 3, and how did you work out the £3 million wages for yourself?”

JQ: “It’s a bit complicated, to be honest. I don’t know the exact rate for the women, $15 million each? Not sure what that works out in pounds. Plus, CGI and shit like that. I hadn’t actually worked it out properly, but whatever it would end up being, I’d definitely been able to make a huge profit because the story’s proper exciting. My three million quid would be a million for writing, a million for directing, and one for being the main actor. So that’s why I’ve asked for that much. Scarlett and Margot are already loaded, so they probably won’t contact their government like me. But I’ve got legal fees to pay, for other things which I can’t go into.”

TDJJ: “So it’s been three weeks since you sent your request. How long are you prepared to wait before you seek further legal advice? Would you consider settling for less money?”

JQ: “I know the circumstances are proving to be difficult for most people financially, and there seems to be a very long waiting list for anything you do nowadays. But it’s been three weeks. I understand there was no guarantee of money and no contracts were signed, but surely you see the potential of Under Siege 3, how much money it would make in the cinemas. Three million ain’t shit. Plus I want my steamy threesome!”

Published by The Daily Jabjab

Hi, I'm from Stockport, Greater Manchester England. My plan on my blog is to hone my creative writing and write a post every day this year. It sounds daunting, and I'm sure things will evolve over time. Let me know what you think about my writing - any tips, useful websites and things like that would be quite lovely. Thanks for reading!


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