FEARS GROW AS CERTAIN MEMBERS OF SOCIETY WILLING TO PURPOSEFULLY FLOUT SELF ISOLATION ADVICE

By Military Correspondent Ralph Ermey

A worrying amount of groups have recently been springing up on social media platforms aimed at women who are attracted to men in uniforms. Though this is nothing new, as firemen and doctors have always been popular amongst ladies, the growing concern is there’s going to be a massive disturbance to the lock down guidelines. The military will be helping out the police during these times by being on the street to break up and question anyone who’s in groups and not on essential errands. There’s been open discussions and plans on these groups regarding purposely going against these guidelines just so members can get close to these men in uniforms. I interviewed the moderator of the Facebook group Let’s Isolate With The Army Hunks, Michelle Pythagoras, as to her motivations behind her group.

TDJJ: “I note that you’re married, Mrs Pythagoras. Do you not feel your motivation for this group kind of undermines the relationship with your husband, and can put other people’s health at risk during this time of self isolation?”

MP: “No, because we plan to be arrested by the military and will then be kept in close proximity with them, and not have to spend any more time together with our useless husbands and partners.”

TDJJ: “So you’re going to actively resist the instructions to go home?”

MP: “Yes. And so will everyone else who’s been talking on all the other groups. We don’t get many opportunities of being close to men in army gear, especially with the prospect of being spoken to in stern voices unless in a mocking tone at hen parties, so I feel this has to happen for me and all those with partners in non-sexy uniformed jobs.”

TDJJ: “How many women do you think are going to do this?”

MP: “Well, we’ve got about 140 members in this group. There was only about 25 before this all kicked off. So all them. There’s bigger groups out there with the same plans, and these women are all over the UK, so I don’t think there’s going to be a shortage of army men in any particular area, it’s going to be spread out.”

TDJJ: “Is there any criteria to becoming a member of your group, and to participate in this plan?”

MP: “Not really, liking men in uniforms is universal, no matter the age or circumstances. I would prefer it if the women who are planning to do this have a background of being in a frustrating relationship with a feckless partner who can’t satisfy her needs if you know what I mean, but the group is open to any women really.”

TDJJ: “Does your husband know about this? What message would you give to those other women with partners?”

MP: “Yeah, he knows, and has voiced his concerns. But I’m sure if there was news of sexy women in bras on the streets, threatening to arrest them if they don’t go home, he and his perverted friends would do the same as us. They’ll all do it.”

TDJJ: “What safety precautions have you considered for this plan? I’m sure you know of the methods of the virus transmission.”

MP: “I’m not going to stop people if they want to wear masks, but they just need to consider the inconvenience of doing so once the heat gets turned up when close to the uniformed men, and the possibilities that will rise up, if you know what I mean.”

TDJJ: “What about those with children to look after, with no schools open and limited activities available? How would you explain your plans to them?”

MP: “Well, the partners can take over for once.”

TDJJ: “And finally, what is your response to the criticism you’ve received over this plan, and it’s not just men who have displayed their condemnation. You and every other moderator are under a lot of fire for this.”

MP: “Bring it on I say. Yeah, there’s a lot of people out there who just won’t get this. That’s fine. Listen, I’m not wanting to jeopardise anyone’s health, I’m not holding a gun to anyone’s head and forcing them to do this. My intention is to get like-minded women to consider how rare it is for this situation to be presented, to have so much military cock on tap.”

Published by The Daily Jabjab

Hi, I'm from Stockport, Greater Manchester England. My plan on my blog is to hone my creative writing and write a post every day this year. It sounds daunting, and I'm sure things will evolve over time. Let me know what you think about my writing - any tips, useful websites and things like that would be quite lovely. Thanks for reading!

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