FAMOUS SINGER-SONGWRITER REVEALS TRUE SURNAME, EXPLAINS REASON FOR NOT INITIALLY FOLLOWING FAMILY TRADITION

By Resident Horseplay Expert Fanny Chortle

She’s sold untold millions in record sales and has amassed far too much money for one person, but singer Adele has never revealed her true family lineage in public, as she felt she wanted to go her own way and not the expected direction that her actual surname would suggest. There’s been a lot of speculation that her last name is Adkins, but has never used it to promote her career. She says it’s because she wants to respect her real one, which – in this exclusive interview with The Daily JabJab – is Chuckle. The mental image of Adele joining surviving Chuckle Brother Paul in a series of hilarious TV shows is a difficult one, as she usually sings about break ups and crying, which is a far cry from getting embroiled in simple DIY mishaps, catchphrases and general tomfoolery. But despite earning her wealth singing about disappointment, she admits she’s not ruling out a drastic career change, as I interview her in her local pub in East Grinstead, The Green Muppet And Bin.

TDJJ: “Thanks for taking the time for this interview. Do you want me to call you Adele, Miss Chuckle, Miss Adkins or what?”

A: “Well, Miss Chuckle to me sounds like a cartoon character. I don’t feel I’m ready to embrace that yet. Even though it’s definitely my real surname, honest. Adele’s fine.”

TDJJ: “Okay. Why do you feel now is the right time to reveal your real surname?”

A: “I reckon I’m so famous now working with just my first name, it would neither be here nor there to reveal it, I’ve proved I can make it without trading on the Chuckle name. Plus it gives me some more inspiration for my music going forward. Fans might be surprised at the new stuff I’m working on.”

TDJJ: “Are you looking to embrace a more lighter side that reflects the antics of Barry and Paul during their career?”

A: “Maybe. I do have a silly side, but I noticed early on in my career that the daft stuff I wrote didn’t resonate with many people. My songs about falling down ladders and stepping in buckets of paint didn’t seem to fit with my vocal range and singing style. But I’ve been practising. This has a lot to do with Paul, really. We’ve all got a big sense of loss since Barry and Jimmy Patton passed on, so I guess this is my way of showing solidarity.”

TDJJ: “Is Paul collaborating on any of your new material?”

A: “Yeah. It’s been a very long time since I’ve tried to write about nonsense, and he’s been instrumental. It’s like I’ve had to learn a different language almost, to get rid of all the meaningful metaphors and sensible symbolisms. I’ve had to let go of so much. We’ve written a song called Glitter Gets Fucking Everywhere, which will be one of the singles. I can’t wait!”

TDJJ: “It sounds like you’ve discovered a new Adele, you sound invigorated. I might even buy this album.”

A: “Thanks. I’m just worried how to fit this new material with my old stuff when doing concerts. So different.”

TDJJ: “I’m no expert, but you could perhaps change outfits several times throughout, each one being more outlandish than the last, until you get to your new stuff. Then it won’t be such a shock to your fans.”

A: “Yeah, I could buy a few clown clothes, adapt them in this way. I’ll keep it in mind.”

TDJJ: “So with this new shift in your career, have you considered doing sketch comedy with Paul? Perhaps at seaside resorts in you can’t get a TV series?”

A: “My music comes first, but I suppose we could do a live show at Margate, Southport or some other town like that if I can get singing gigs in the same place to save time and petrol.”

TDJJ: “And how are you with the catchphrases – ‘To me, to you, to me, to you’ and so forth?”

A: “What?”

TDJJ: “The ‘To me, to you’ thing. It’s one of catchphrases they’re famous for.”

A: “Oh right, I’m with you now. Sorry, I know I’ve got to learn a lot more. I’ve just been working on getting bashed on the head with various hand tools.”

Published by The Daily Jabjab

Hi, I'm from Stockport, Greater Manchester England. My plan on my blog is to hone my creative writing and write a post every day this year. It sounds daunting, and I'm sure things will evolve over time. Let me know what you think about my writing - any tips, useful websites and things like that would be quite lovely. Thanks for reading!

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