COUPLE LEAVE FAMILY-RUN BUSINESS TO GO IT ALONE

By Royal Correspondent Hansington Grubershire

It seems that everyone had an opinion when Prince Harry and his America wife Meghan Markle made their choice to end their employment at the long established pub The Queen Liz. Speculation was rife as to what their plans were going to be. After all, to leave such a beloved public house isn’t a decision to be taken lightly, and the pair knew that by doing so, they would no longer have the advantages that the others have who remain at the drinking hole, such as the 20% staff discount on lager and swans. Now, Prince Harry has made the decision to end the couple’s silence and spoke candidly to The Daily JabJab, about their next move. I spoke with him inside a semi furnished building in Sussex, with building work going on around us as we talk.

TDJJ: “It’s a bit noisy in here.”

PH: “Yeah, sorry about this. Meghan’s currently shopping for baby stuff, and we’re still waiting on the estate agent to get his arse in gear. We’re living here for the time being.”

TDJJ: “Is this building part of the next stage in your future plans?”

PH: “Yeah, Meghan first pitched me the idea that we should branch out on our own. She was missing her pretend lawyer lifestyle back in America, and as I listened to her ambitions I knew that I had to do the best by her and realise her dream.”

TDJJ: “Which is?”

PH: “Create an American themed bar, similar to what she remembers back home, right down to the type of staff. I thought it was a great idea. I’d often watch how my Gran would rule her pub as landlady, keeping staff in check and the sometimes noisy clientele. I thought, ‘I could give that a go’ and we told her about our plans. She was upset but understood our reasoning, though she did warn us about a few potential pitfalls.”

TDJJ: “Well, I know it’s a big risk when starting a new business, you might not see a profit until the third year.”

PH: “That wasn’t her main concern for us. Our bar is gonna be called Bristols, which is our UK version of a Hooters bar back in Meghan’s country. No, my Gran told us that the Brit isn’t into that sort of thing, that we are a nation of prudes who would politely tut at the vulgarity on display. We respectably disagreed though. I’ve got friends in high places who have seen things on the internet that back up our theory.”

TDJJ: “What’s Meghan’s role going to be? Is she okay with the prospect of having staff dancing around who have large.. you know what?”

PH: “Meghan’s not fussed at all. In fact, she’s made arrangements to have former Hooters employee Brandine “Sizeable” Burgerson become one of our staff. Meghan’s gonna be more the silent partner – counting the money at the end of the night, changing beer barrels, that sort of thing. She just misses the atmosphere in these types of places, where she’d come to after a hard day of imagining to be a lawyer, or whatever she was in that show. I never really watched it myself. It was one of those where, I thought I would get round to at some point, but I never did.”

TDJJ: “It’s pretty good”

PH: “I might have a look then. She brought the DVDs with her, they’re over there in that TK Maxx bag. Thing is, with all the work involved with this bar, I’m not sure how I’d find the time. There’s probably loads of episodes and serieses, it’s a bit daunting.”

TDJJ: “When this bar is up and running, would you refuse to serve any of your former colleagues? There’s been reports in the press about animosity among certain family members since you left.”

PH: “No. On the contrary, there’s been a lot of excitement from a few of them about the plans here, you can probably guess the ones who I’m referring to. But there’s some on Meghan’s side who would be barred. She’s gonna be handling all the legal stuff if things get out of control. She probably did some research when she was doing that show.”

Harry’s phone started to ring. He told me it was Meghan, and it was about not having the right nappies in the shop, she’s tried everywhere. The discussion was getting a bit heated, so I decided to quietly leave them to it. Bristols will be open in the next few months or so, opposite one of the pound shops in the town centre.

Published by The Daily Jabjab

Hi, I'm from Stockport, Greater Manchester England. My plan on my blog is to hone my creative writing and write a post every day this year. It sounds daunting, and I'm sure things will evolve over time. Let me know what you think about my writing - any tips, useful websites and things like that would be quite lovely. Thanks for reading!

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